REPORT CARDS
I joked with the girls that perhaps Ms. Rapscott should issue report cards for their first few weeks of school. They liked the idea, and so, on a long flight to Australia, I stepped into character and wrote the following, which is to be read in a very thick British accent.
——
My dearest Noonan Girls,
I have thoroughly enjoyed being your teacher for these few months, and admire your commitment to online learning whilst traveling. You have studied on planes, buses, and boats alike, and have dared only a few times to express your utter dissatisfaction. You have listened with great interest to naturalists on remote islands, historians in city centers, and archeologists on mountaintops. You are becoming worldly scholars before my eyes, and I am so proud of your curiosity and persistence. It would be remiss of me, however, if I didn’t mention a few opportunities for improvement for each of my students.
Sadie, my intrepid explorer with a pen forever in your hand, you do have quite the knack for writing. You are a natural storyteller and your audience remains riveted as you write about decadent chocolates, rippling volcanic rock, and majestic vistas. I challenge you, however, to use more colorful words. Was the mushroom paté “super good,” or was it impossibly savory? Was the view “so pretty,” or was it an incredulous feat of Mother Nature? Was the man crossing the street, or was a young man, impeccability dressed in a houndstooth jacket with suede elbow patches, who simultaneously cradled a bouquet of bright dahlias and held the leash of a spotted dog, crossing the busy intersection of Main and Broad Streets?
You are a writer, indeed. But the right choice of words will demonstrate what a powerful writer you can be. Perhaps one day, you will write for the New York Times as a food critic of Michelin-rated restaurants, or you will write to the local Board of Education to implore elected officials to celebrate diversity, or you will apply for a government grant to ensure safe drinking water for an entire community. The power of words can truly save lives and change the world. I can’t wait to read the words you continue to write.
Now I turn my attention to you, Harper Bea. Could you please put down your book to hear these words?
Harper?
Harper.
Harper!
Oh, hello.
Harper, I admire your love of reading, and do believe that it will serve you quite well in your life. I must insist, however, that you stop reading every now and again. Reading becomes a particularly dangerous endeavor when enjoyed whilst engaging in physical activities like walking, bathing, and eating. I would hate for broken limbs, electrocution, and spilled marinara to come between you and a good book. Pause every now and again for basic hygiene and sustenance, and then do carry on. I love that you love to read.
And last, but certainly not least, Reese Penelope, my spirited mathematician. I do understand that 37 + 56 does indeed include 13 ones and 8 tens, but I steadfastly maintain that it does not equal 813, no matter how much thou doth protests. You are a feisty learner, quick to challenge your teacher, but also quick to admit when you’ve made a mistake. That balance will serve you well in life — unequivocally challenge things when they don’t seem right, but always admit when you’re wrong and always be open to another person’s solution.
All in all, my beloved students, I couldn’t feel more encouraged after your first semester at the Noonan Academy of World Travelers. Do keep up the good work. Do stay curious. And do be kind.
Best wishes, warm regards,
Mrs. Rapscott