CHIANG MAI WALKING TOUR

What do you want when you sign up for a walking tour of Chiang Mai? Do you want to learn about the city or about UFOs? Well, we learned about both! 

Our guide's name was Pailyn and she was a talker, all right! At points, it was very hard to follow what she was saying because of the tangents she would go on! She even said that if we let her talk, we could be here for weeks! 

She did teach us about the history of Chiang Mai, the Three Kings Monument, how Buddha poses correlate to the birth-days of the week, wax figures of monks at the temple, lucky trees, and food and agriculture in Thailand.

But, as much as she taught us about relevant stuff, she would just ramble on and on about unrelated topics like:

• King Kong 

• Florida's oranges

• Stucco elephants 

• Meditating for fried rice 

• Angelina Jolie's amulet tattoo 

• Czech Republic beers 

• Tokyo saved her life

• Cadillacs are too big

• Don’t bring a Louis Vuitton bag in a temple 

• China copies Thai temples

• Herbal remedies cure Coronavirus 

• Putin and his oil problems

• Her dead mom knocks on her door 

• Terrible earthquakes in Christchurch, Japan, and Turkey 

• Her experience working for the UN 

• Movies that were filmed in Thailand 

• Chinese weather balloons

• President Biden's headache 

• Opium is now illegal, but also, kinda legal

• How could you not know about the kid from India who is great at spelling?

The 3-HOUR tour was supposed to end at 12:15 PM. By 1:00 PM it was still going strong, and we were very hungry and very hot. By our guesstimate, she still planned to keep us for another hour. We politely excused ourselves; our parents used the old “they’re kids and they need to eat lunch” excuse.

For all we know, the tour could still be happening…